Musical Pause (or should I say Rest)

Creativity has always been fluid for me.  Having read the introduction to this journal, you would already be aware of that.  Three months have passed since the last glosa.  Truth be told, I felt myself hovering over the pause button for a couple weeks prior.  That was when I first toyed with the idea of writing this entry.  Maybe in knowing it was coming, I thought I might hint at why beforehand, so that the silence would not be as deafening. 

The Trouble (Treble) with Musical Inspiration and maintaining weekly Glosas

During each section of “Song Selection/Research,” I spoke about how I scoured songs looking for potential cabezas that might invoke the creation of a glosa.  At some point I may even have mentioned how I was curating a collection, so that each week if nothing spoke to me, I would have something to fall back on.  Again, the intent was to write a glosa per week.  And while I may have verbalized that I would be okay with every once in a glosa it taking two, my internal drive was not willing to truly allow it.

My issue…my concern…my trouble with maintaining a pace is that inspiration is no longer organic, but forced.  Instead of listening joyfully or therapeutically to music (which is what it should be), I scoured through song after song, listening to bits and pieces; I look up lyrics of songs by artists that I enjoy listening to without actually listening to the song.  I lose the beauty and purity of the inspiration. 

The majority of the glosas did find inspiration in songs that just happened to fall upon my ears and spark something.  They weren’t about “how could I turn these lyrics into a glosa.”  But I could feel myself towards the end stretching myself beyond spontaneous inspiration.  So, I aloud myself to become silent, gave the glosa a rest and went back to just listening to the music.  This was a conscious decision where I felt that the next time a glosa scrawled itself across my notebook, it would be because a song so struck me I couldn’t help myself.

There definitely has been a song or two that had me thinking about picking up the challenge again.  But my silence has been compounded by my current state of quiet.  You see, I write to expel demons, but sometimes the demons are not so willing to release me from their grips.  Eventually, I’m sure I’ll find a song strong enough to pull me from this funk.  Until then, the music will continue to work its magic on massaging all the ills residing within me.